The Queen

Remembering Roya

TL:DR

This is a memorial post. If you need to punch out, I understand. This one is for me. I have been processing this for several weeks now, so I am doing OK. Your condolences are appreciated but not necessary. I would rather you read about this wonderful woman, what she meant to me, and celebrate her. That’s what I am trying to do.

This beautiful, funny, vibrant, caring woman, is Roya. She passed away on June 8, 2026. She was only 66 years old, and a few months away from retirement. We were friends for 27 years. Almost half our lives.

Our relationship started when I was at Nextel, she worked at Lucent. She was trying to sell me things, but she made me laugh. She also knew how to build relationships based on mutual success, which is why she was so good at her job. Fast forward lots of years, and lots of laughs to 2014, and I went to work for her as a consultant. She was at Cisco then. She was an amazing boss, a great “collector” of people. People that shouldn’t gel, but they did, because of her. We all called her The Queen. Through all the role reversal, twists and turns in our careers, she was always there for me and vice versa, a soul sister.

Roya came to the US for college from Iran, getting away from the revolution. She never forgot her roots but became a fiercely proud American. Given her background, she was ever watchful over civil rights. Roya and her husband raised two incredible children that have gone on to become doctors. Her son was married last year. Her daughter moved up her wedding so Roya could be there. Here they are at that event. A mere few weeks ago.

Roya was diagnosed, at the end of March, with Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (CJD). She was gone three months later. This disease is pernicious. “All types of CJD are serious but are very rare. About 1 to 2 cases of CJD are diagnosed per million people around the world each year. The disease most often affects older adults.” (Mayo Clinic)

Roya was 1 in a million. Literally, and figuratively.

None of us were ready. None of us were prepared for this. Colleagues from Cisco, past and present rallied, her family dropped everything to care for her at home, and I think it’s safe to safe, all of us are still in shock. Roya was a force of nature. In our wildest dreams, we could never have imagined this. Hell, none of us even knew what this disease was. As one of my former Cisco colleagues said, “there are no words.”

Another colleague asked those of us that wanted to, to put down some thoughts for a book he was going to assemble for the family. Here is what I wrote.

Dearest Roya,

It’s hard to put into words how much our friendship means to me. You are, and forever will be “The Queen.” You were the best boss I ever had. Your leadership skills are amazing. I don’t know anyone else that is so incredibly gifted at pulling people together, getting them to give their all, all the time, and love every minute of it. You always made sure we worked hard, celebrated the wins, commiserated in the losses, and dusted ourselves off to prepare for whatever was next. I have nothing but tremendous admiration and respect for you.

The work aspect of our relationship was amazing, but the personal aspect meant even more. You were always there for me, providing good advice, good laughs, or just to bitch about whatever was bothering me. You always scared the hell out of me when you drove with your reading glasses on! You made me laugh with your funny sayings. Roat Godeo will go down in history. I can never hear the words Pina Colada without thinking of you. We always talked about doing something important when we retired. I was very much looking forward to that.

Your relationship with your family is inspirational. Your pride in them has always shone brightly. Watching all their success over the years has been wonderful. I am so happy that you have seen them accomplish so very much; and know how important and unwavering your support for them is. You are a role model in this regard. Honestly, I don’t know how you have juggled it all over the years. I guess the frequent flier miles explain a lot.

Your sense of humor is something I treasure. A razor sharp wit that’s never cruel. I loved watching you fight for causes you believed in: family, friends, community, education, politics, customers, whatever you care about, you always give your all, with passion, humor and a no nonsense approach.

You and I are both “give it your all” types. Through all the craziness over the years, for how similar our approaches could be, we never clashed. We always just doubled down to find a way. We didn’t win them all, but we gave it all we had, every time. You are a soul sister. You always will be.

I have missed working with you so much these last several years. We chased our dreams together for so long - from 5ESS sales when you were at ALU, to Q-Chat, to working with you at Cisco. There was never a dull moment and I loved that, and I know you did too. From your customer to your employee, we never skipped a beat. I think that speaks volumes for the kind of person you are.

I love you so much my dear friend, my queen. You are in my heart, always.

Tamara

Roya was notorious for funny sayings, mixing up pronouns constantly, and referring to what she perceived as slacker behavior as “sitting around drinking pina coladas.” I am a big fan of calling messy situations a goat rodeo, she thought that was hilarious; but she got so excited one time, and was laughing so hard, she said Roat Godeo. It stuck.

She was incredibly successful at everything in her life. A true role model. A strong woman that had it all, beautiful homes, children, family, career and everything that came with it. It came at a cost of constant travel. She was in Spain when she first started noticing symptoms. Roya, being Roya, did not take it seriously for the first couple of weeks. In the end, it would not have made a difference, but it’s a reminder to all of us that if something feels off, get it checked out.

Sitting here writing this, I still find it difficult to accept that she is gone. Her celebration of life will be sometime later this summer. What a life to celebrate. She touched so many lives. Roya also loved a good party, so she would want one hell of a final bash.

Here is the Cisco team I worked with, probably circa 2015, out celebrating something. This was taken outside one of our favorite restaurants in Overland Park, KS. The Queen and I side by side. We usually were.

Cisco Team for Sprint

It’s hard to believe this was 10+ years ago. This crew, and the extended version of it at Cisco was one of the best I have ever had the honor to work alongside. So many of us are still friends.

Even in death, Roya is bringing us together. Friends and colleagues that have not done a good enough job keeping in touch, are all communicating more regularly again. That will make her happy. It helps to talk with old friends, sharing stories, sharing grief.

Roya and I are paragons of impatience, so I can say with confidence that she is waiting for us all; so she can make sure we are productive in whatever we are supposed to be doing next. Now she is the one sitting around drinking pina coladas, waiting, so she can get back to herding us cats. Nobody does it better.

Roya drinking a pina colada

Cheers to you, you magnificent human being! We are so blessed to have had you in our lives.

Love always,

Missy (that’s what she always called me)

Coda: While utterly inappropriate, I will never hear this again without thinking of her. That line about “if you have half a brain” is something she would absolutely say. Roya would also want all of us to get on with our lives, and be grateful for what we have, so there is something relatable about that in this song.